Updated: Mar 26
How do we move from doubt to certainty?
The unknown and the fear about our future can be debilitating for some of us.
The questions that we have can stop us in our tracks!
– How do I know he is the one?
– What am I passionate about?
– Should I get a mortgage so I can own my own home or rent?
– Should I spend time with these people?
– How do I know how to best raise my kids?
I hear these questions and many others all the time from my clients, my friends and inside my own head. We can ponder or dwell on these subjects for hours to days to months to years. It can be torturous for us the longer it goes on.
This happened to me too. There was a time when I needed to make a huge decision in my life which effected everyone around me. I put so much pressure on myself to know the answer and do the ‘right’ thing that it felt like I actually had no control over the decision itself. I was placing such importance of everyone else’s happiness on this decision and disregarding my own. I started to feel so uneasy and felt breathless and my anxiety was showing up big time.
I knew I could not go like this and so I found some tools to help me move through the uncertainty and now I feel so free and full of content with my decision. And if the occasional sign of doubt inches in, I choose not to focus on it and find a more powerful thought instead.
And now I want to help you to achieve this feeling too.
What are you anxious about in your life? What do you find yourself dwelling on day in and day out? Here are 3 POWERFUL questions to ask to start moving forward away from the doubt and towards more confidence, conviction and assurance.
1. Be the witness.
When I was going through I this I started listening to the thoughts in my head when I was mulling it all over. I was watching out for fear. Remember fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
How was the fear taking hold of my thoughts and my emotions and my possible decision at the end of the day? Fear made me think that if I took the ‘wrong’ path I would be responsible for hurting lots of people and denying them the happiness they deserve. Fear made me think that choosing this path would label me as selfish and stupid. Fear told me that this path would the hard way, with too many challenges to count. Fear had all the control for nearly 18 months. But once I recognized this as a witness to my thoughts. I got really conscious. I realized that fear was making projections of my reality that were totally untrue and inaccurate. Nobody could predict how it was going to work out so how could my fear?
The first question you can ask as the witness is What thoughts do I have that are controlled by fear?
Be honest with yourself. Start each sentence with,
"Fear has control of me when it tells me…"
"Fear has control of me when it tells me that I am responsible for everyone’s happiness."
"Fear has control of me when it tells me that I am irresponsible and not worthy."
This will help you to identify where the control is currently lying and bring awareness to why you are finding it hard to know the best path for you.
Please note it is important to reset after thinking or writing this list. Do this by breathing well. Meditate to clear the energy away. Burn your list if you wish or throw it away. Fresh start, new thoughts.
2. Let your body guide you.
When you are at the fork in the road, as you look at each option really be aware of how your body reacts. I know when I was weighing out my options over all those months, I soon began to see a pattern in my body when I looked at one of my choices. I was overcome with a feeling of breathlessness. My stomach felt tight and nauseous. My heart would race and overall I would feel uncomfortable and uneasy about it all. I felt uninspired and very low.
SO the second question is How does my body react and feel when I think about going down this path and making this choice?
Once I decided to take the less popular road my body showed me that it was the best choice because it felt lighter. I felt liberated and back in the drivers seat of my life. I was excited again and enthused about what lay ahead of me. It should feel like you are flowing with the current rather than a battle against it. This is the experience of being in alignment with your true self and your true path.
3. Be willing to see that anything is possible.
Now that you have identified your fears, start asking yourself this SUPER powerful question.
What else is possible for me when I choose love for myself over fear?
Often the best path and the true path is not one without challenges. And your fear will surely remind you of this. It will highlight every possible hurdle as you go through the decision making process.
“Fear is trying to protect you but it also ends up stopping us from becoming our most brilliant and miraculous selves.”
Breathe in and out deeply and allow love and light to cover you. In this state ask what choice can I make now that comes from my heart? What choice can I make that will give me goosebumps? What choice can I make that will help me finally get the lesson and heal? What choice can I make that will allow me to surrender to my higher guidance? What choice can I make today that has me sitting here pondering it with a goofy grin on my face?
Where does your mind go as you read these ideas? Get curious about this. What thoughts bring your contentment and acceptance? What thoughts bring you healthy anticipation?
As you become clearer about the path ahead and begin to take action on the choices you need to make, start to expect good things to happen out of this decision. Expect more of what you want to come into you life as a result of the choice you are making. When doubt and fear pop in to say hi from time to time, shift your focus away from them and be faithful to letting love and light and flow and inspiration guide you.
Share this with anyone who is feeling stuck at the moment. Leave a comment below and let me know what choices you are currently facing and which one makes you feel more in alignment with your best path.