Recently I had an experience that shook me to my core. Hands shaking, heart racing, mind freaking out. I lost all my senses in that moment. I couldn't see anything, nor hear the person that started talking to me. Everything faded into the background as my mind scrambled for understanding of what was just presented to me and for answers for what to do next. I left the group I was sitting with and went to the toilets where I messaged my friend with what had just happened. I was so upset I had to leave the event asap and for the next hour my friend and I shared our opinions, our anger and thoughts and possible next moves with each other. Although we came out with no clear answers, being able to share my frustration and hurt with another helped me immensely. Enough so that I could go home and sleep easy. This is massive because the invasion of thoughts would have once prevented me from any slumber.
The next morning I woke up and had an epiphany. For some reason they are flowing to me nearly daily it seems. This one came as I contemplated my next step and the message was so strong and clear. "Bex, you were not put on this earth to make others suffer!" It was so perfect. Of course this made so much sense to me. Why would I want to create suffering and hurt in another human being? We already create enough it seems within ourselves. and the earth is in so much pain already.
So I decided to do something that would appear pretty insane to many people and let go and allow this situation to play out how the other party was hoping it would. As soon as I acted on this decision, the pain and the weight lifted. I felt peace and acceptance and trust and courage all at the same time. I know so deep within me what my purpose is on this earth and it sure as heck is not to bring pain and hurt to another human being no matter how they treat me. So I am sticking to this choice. It may be hard at times to always honor it.
But I will be doing my absolute best.