Finding courage within ourselves is quite a hard thing to do. I often ask my children to be brave in situations where they feel outside their comfort zone. And this got me wondering how much they actually see me as their mama being brave. So I put on my brave girl undies and did something that actually makes me feel so uncomfortable and so nauseous this week.
I am a hot yoga addict. And their are lots of hot and fit bodies at yoga. My belly and I are not one of them. We work hard out and I see strength developing everywhere in my body but my puku. My instructors advised me to wear a crop top so that I completely focus on my abdominals during class. The room is surrounded with mirrors so there is no avoiding your reflection. I was horrified by their advice. I would do anything except expose my gut! Some women would not be bothered by this but this has been a sensitive area for me for years! The travelling yoga instructor told me she wanted to see me do this before she moved on to her next destination. Well she came and went and I was still completely terrified of the idea.
However last week I made a shift and finally decided to give myself a reality check and realize that nobody gives a shit what I wear at yoga. We are all just trying to survive the heat and the intense workout. Our clothing during yoga becomes so saturated with sweat it is always uncomfortable and annoying and I was getting annoyed by it. So I carefully selected a class I knew was usually lower in attendance and sucked up some courage and did it. The class turned out to be full that day and I was not very happy about seeing my rolls and muffin top in all the mirrors around me. Each posture exposed my flabby zone in a different way and I really could not let it go and be present in the class at all. I was so out of my comfort zone and I really struggled to find the positives in my situation. BUT I did it and gave it a try. I decided though not to do it again for a while anyway. The reason I am sharing this with you is to say we all need to be brave. We need to do things that scare the crap out of us. We need to face up to our issues and our fears big or small. Why? Because if we want to grow and develop ourselves we have to move out of our comfort zones. But we won't always experience elation and sweet success or a major breakthrough when we do take a risk like me. However we still need to try all the same because you never know how it might turn out. I am so glad I gave this a go as I am no longer left wondering or arguing with myself about doing it. It may not have been a big deal to anyone else but I have struggled with my gut and dreamed about having a flat tummy since I had my first child nearly 13 years ago. I have grown over the last few years from completely hating myself to loving myself and accepting nearly all of me. I am human too so I go through ups and downs in my life which makes me a better coach to my clients as it allows my to have a deeper understanding of what people are going through. So I continue to be braver than what I was yesterday especially as a single mama where I have to solve issues, make ends meet and make big life choices without the support of anybody else. My courage brings me excitement of what the future holds and what possibilities are ahead of me. And my kids see this in their mama and can imitate from me and be brave in their own lives.